Have you said hello today? Chances are you have.
Have you realized this is not a proper way to speak? Chances are you haven't.
Why is that? If you haven't thought about it yet, think again. Perhaps, you won't guess it, no matter how hard you try, but the truth is...
The word hello is offensive!
Indeed, it is: it contains the word hell. Whenever you say hello, you are essentially sending someone to burn in hell. Not a nice thing to do, isn't it?
This is what was discovered, after years of intensive research--to be sure, in the State of Texas! And, being progressive, they passed a resolution in Kleberg County, Texas, where the offensive word is going to be replaced by the more progressive, ethical, morally correct, godly-like word heaven-o.
A professor of English, David Sabrio, dared to note that hello has nothing to do with hell. But what does he know? In Texas, they think otherwise. Some groups of atheists also think it's stupid. But what do they know? They're probably based in Communist countries, not in Texas. It is now official: Wikipedia has modified its article on "hello" to include the new word, first founded in Texas.
Heaven-o to all!